The middle-school years can be some of the toughest for parents
and kids. Middlers can be baffling -- up one minute and down the next. Parents of middlers may think to themselves, "What
happened to that smiling third-grader we knew so well? Who replaced him with this moody pre-adolescent we hardly recognize?
Keeping the lines of communication open during these years requires extra patience. These tips can help keep the conversation
flowing.
MAKE THE TIME. In today's complex world, it's even more
important to make sure you set aside time to talk. That doesn't mean you have to hold a formal meeting. Sometimes the best
discussions take place while you're driving the car or puttering around the kitchen.
LISTEN TO THE LITTLE STUFF. Kids will talk to you if
they know you're going to listen -- whether they discuss heavy issues such as sex and drugs or everyday things like schoolwork.
If your kids know you're listening, they're more likely to trust you enough to talk about everything in their life.
LISTEN BETWEEN THE LINES. Because a lot of kids find
it hard to talk to their parents about things that really matter, parents have to pay special attention to what their kids
may be trying to say. It helps to pay particular attention to emotions -- not just the emotion itself, but its intensity,
too.
ASK THEIR OPINION. Few things please children (or anybody
else) more than being asked their opinion. You don't have to ask about important issues all the time, either.
DON'T INTERRUPT. In the Philips "Let's Connect" national
survey, more than half the children said that when they talked, their parents often or sometimes didn't give them a chance
to explain themselves. It's a good idea to give your children some extra time to explain their opinion or desires, even if
you think you know what they're going to say.
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